


Cup of Tea

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Trope-inator [4]
Category: Phineas and Ferb, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Brief Mentions of Canon Star Trek Characters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: At the sound of laughter, Perry looked up from his Advanced Astrophysics text and flinched. He lowered the brim of his fedora, hiding his eyes as he stared across the quad, trying to be discrete.
There he was. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. The hottest creature Perry'd ever seen.
*****
Inspired by a post on Desdemonakaylose's tumblr:
"Favorite unused trope: weird looking alien and weird looking human are accidentally just what the other finds attractive"
And it turned into both Perryshmirtz and a Star Trek AU. Go figure.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a post on Desdemonakaylose's tumblr:
> 
> "Favorite unused trope: weird looking alien and weird looking human are accidentally just what the other finds attractive"
> 
> And then, of course, Perryshmirtz hit (surprise, surprise). 
> 
> Perry is obviously the alien in this one, and is basically still a platypus, except around five feet tall instead of two. Also, he and the other OWCA agents are a little more anthro, like in Zootopia. More will be explained in the story. Also, ages are changed for the story! Perry and Bea and Peter are around 19-21 by earth standards, Candace is 18, Phineas and Ferb are 13, and Heinz is 23.
> 
> This became a Star Fleet Academy fic. 
> 
> Enjoy.

At the sound of laughter, Perry looked up from his Advanced Astrophysics text and flinched. He lowered the brim of his fedora, hiding his eyes as he stared across the quad, trying to be discrete.

There he was. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. The hottest creature Perry'd ever seen.

He knew that probably few would agree with him, which just made Terrans all that much more confusing to Perry. How could they look at Heinz and not see it?

The human male was tall, over a foot taller than Perry. He was a post-grad in the Engineering Track, and all that time spent hauling engine parts really showed in his lean and wiry musculature. 

And that face. What was not attractive about that face? The deep blue eyes, the long elegant nose, the wide toothy smile... Perry fantasized about running his fingers through that spiky hair of his - spiky, but it looked oh-so-soft...

"Daydreaming about your boyfriend again?" a voice intruded on his thoughts. Perry felt himself flush, though he knew no one would see it thanks to his fur. He adjusted his glasses and dropped his eyes automatically to his padd, staring at the page sightlessly.

"He's not my boyfriend, Bea," he mumbled out the corner of his bill, sighing as she plopped down on the grass next to him.

"Maybe he would be if you ever talked to him!" She nudged his arm fondly. She plucked his hat off his head, laughing as he quickly snatched it back. "And if you stopped hiding behind this thing."

Perry set his fedora back on his head and nudged it down to cover his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Perry, don't think I don't know that you wear that thing to cover up when you're being shy," Bea whispered fondly. Perry just grumbled, flipping to the next page on his tablet.

"What was that?" Bea teased him, and he glared at her.

"He can't be my boyfriend because he's dating Peter, remember?" he whispered back forcefully.

Bea deflated at that. "That's just a rumor, Perry. I heard they broke up a long time ago."

A high, reedy laugh sounded out across the quad, and Perry gestured in that direction subtly.

"Does that look very 'broken up' to you?"

He peeked over cautiously, smiling softly at the sight of Heinz flailing his arms about, lost in the midst of some story he was telling. The smile transformed to a frown, however, as he glared at the Byhty sitting next to him. Peter was stoic as always, sporting an amused half-smile as he watched the human's antics.

Who'd want to date Perry when they could have that? He knew better than to voice his thoughts out loud, however, since Bea would just give him a damned pep-talk again, and she could go on for hours.

It was easy for her to talk. She was a Pihho, with soft brown fur and a cute button nose and long, fuzzy ears, Bea was considered adorable by the standards of most races.

Peter, too, with his shiny black and white coat, and his rounded ears. Everyone wanted to date Peter. As a matter of fact, a good percentage of the campus had already dated Peter, who seemed to take the legendary Academy reputation of Captain Kirk as a personal challenge.

And Perry, well, he didn't even have ears! Not visible ones anyway. And his fur was bright teal, while his webbed feet, tail and bill were a hideous orange color. He had looked nothing like the other Bmydobics in his small colony back home, who were all a nice, normal chocolate brown. Thanks to one random genetic mutation, and he'd been an outcast the moment he'd hatched.

And his tail. He'd always rather liked his tail before coming to the Academy, but he'd been shown right away that Terrans prefered cute cotton tails like Bea's, or long elegant tails like Karen's. Large bulky paddles... not so much.

Perry sighed, his shoulders dropping as he peered longingly across the quad at Heinz. It was completely hopeless that he'd ever look at Perry and see anything but a freak.

*****

Peter took a gulp of coffee, before pointing at Heinz accusingly. 

"Don't think I don't know why you always insist on drinking our coffee here," he droned in a bored tone of voice.

"So you can reattach yourself to Miggs as soon as he gets out of class," came the quick reply, Heinz nodding back at the engineering building behind them.

"No," Peter drawled, "Its so you can make googly eyes at your duck boy over there." Peter pointed across the quad, and Heinz swatted his paw down quickly.

"Stop that!" he hissed angrily, "He'll see you!"

"...And he's not a duck!" he added as an afterthought.

Peter shook his head. "I don't get what you see in the guy. I mean, just look how his red undergrad uniform clashes with his fur. Bleck."

Heinz shrugged. "Okay, I'll give you that. But he was in my basic hand-to-hand combat class, and he totally rocks the academy-issued black track suit."

"Whatever." Heinz bristled as Peter rolled his eyes. He checked his watch and grinned. "Miggs gets out of class in five minutes, I'm going to go meet him. I'll leave you to your pining."

Heinz watched the Byhty swagger away before returning to his coffee (and his very subtle observation of the Bmydobic across the way). 

He knew Peter didn't get it, and he was glad, because otherwise, Peter would've tried to get into Perry's pants years ago. 

But how could he (and apparently, everyone else on campus) not see it? Well, obviously, they hadn't been in Heinz's aforementioned Basic Hand to Hand class.

Perry may look like an awkward conglomeration of different animal parts, but he was utterly elegant in reality. He'd taken out most everyone in the class that first day of general sparring, even the instructor with a surprise tail slap to the face.

(Heinz had sat that class out, thanks to a sprained wrist from an accident in his Advanced Warp Design lab. And he was ecstatic for it, because he had spent the entire period in awe, watching Perry knock down each and every one of their other classmates.)

Unfortunately, Heinz had never gotten a chance to try his hand against Perry, as he was quickly upgraded to the Advanced class after that first lesson. Heinz had been severely disappointed.

Luckily, he had a reliable inside source of information about the shorter alien. The two teen prodigies, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, were in Heinz's AWD class, and were only too eager to talk about the Bmydobic with anyone who would listen.

And Heinz was always ready to listen.

Perry rented a room from the Flynn-Fletchers, and the family had adopted the teal-furred alien with open arms into their family. The boys in particular seemed to adore Perry, and with the right bit of prodding, would tell stories about the quiet Bmydobic during their lab sessions.

He had since learned that Perry was ambidextrous and far-sighted, hence his cute little glasses. He could play multiple musical instruments, which had led to numerous impromtu jam sessions with the boys and their friends. And he apparently had a weakness for romance novels and loved watching reruns of the old soap opera 'Sunset of Our Lives'. (Heinz desperately wanted to know who his favorite ships were).

The more Heinz learned, the more he wanted to know, preferabley from the Bmydobic's own bill.

(Heinz would never admit it out loud, but sometimes, late at night, he fantasized about what it would feel like to kiss the rubbery bill, to curl his fingers through the other's fur, to take his little webbed hand in his own...)

"Hey! Heinz! Are you sitting all by yourself? Why don't you come join us!"

Heinz's head jerked up. Speak of the devil, that was the bubbly voice of Phineas Flynn himself. And he was sitting next to Perry, waving his hands and smiling, inviting him to come and sit with them. With Perry.

Heinz felt liked he'd swallowed a whole jar full of butterflies, the way his stomach roiled in anticipation. Gulping hard, he waved back, trying for a casual smile. Climbing to his feet, he desperately hoped he didn't screw this up, because this was his chance.

*****

Perry could feel himself starting to sweat nervously. What was Phineas doing? How did he even know Heinz?

Before he could fall into a complete panic (or better yet, go hide behind a mailbox or something) the lanky engineering student plopped down on the grass before him.

"Hello, Phineas, Ferb," Heinz greeted, before glancing briefly at Perry, then longer at Bea. Of course, look at the cute giggly Pihho, who'd want to....

"Have you been introduced yet? This is Perry," Phineas threw an arm around Perry in a half hug, unintenionally helping Perry to relax, "And that's Bea."

"Hey, nice to meet you guys!" Heinz gave them a wide grin and a friendly little wave, and Perry could feel himself smile a little in return.

"Were you waiting for someone?" Ferb asked quietly. Perry felt his smile fall, since he knew why Heinz was sitting alone across the quad.

"Oh, no! Peter and I meet for coffee every other day, and we like to drink it out here," Heinz answered easily, taking a sip of the aforementioned coffee. "His boyfriend just got out of class, and he had to go latch back on to him again."

Perry's head shot up, causing Heinz to look at him curiously. He felt like his heart was about to pound its way out of his chest.

Bea piped up. "Wait, so you're not dating Peter?" she asked 'innocently'. Perry simultaneously wanted to nudge her to stop and beg her to continue.

"Naw, we tried a couple of dates, but we decided we'd make better friends instead." He said this easily, but Perry felt like he been stunned by a phaser. They weren't dating?

"So, Perry," he looked up and Heinz was grinning at him, "Ferb tells me you like 'Sunrise of our Lives'?"

Perry felt his face warm as Bea snorted beside him. She mocked him constantly for liking that cheesy old soap opera. He pulled down on his hat's brim as he nodded a yes.

"Cool!" Perry looked up shyly, but Heinz was genuinely smiling at him, "Who's your otp? If you don't say Clenrique, I don't know if I can talk to you anymore." Heinz winked as he said it, letting Perry know he was just joking.

Perry nodded eagerly. "Y-yeah, they're my favorite, t-though I liked Natbara before that?"

Heinz's eyes lit up. "Oh, that was a good one too. Its a shame they didn't put more focus on them, but once Clenrique became a thing, they understandably focused on that storyline instead..."

"Do they? I haven't had time to watch the whole series yet," Perry confessed.

"Oh! You have to finish it! I have the whole series, we'll have to watch it sometime! How far have you gotten?"

*****

"I don't think they even noticed we've left," Bea whispered, peering around the tree she and the boys were half-hidden behind. Perry was watching Heinz flail about as he talked, a soft, awed little smile on his bill as he nodded along. She wanted to squeal at how cute they were together.

"I can't believe Heinz has had a crush on Perry all this time too!" She did squeal, softly, grinning like a maniac at the boys.

"Heinz likes to think he's subtle, but he always manages to find a way to turn the conversation in our lab sessions to Perry," Ferb answered.

"Yeah, he was really obvious!" Phineas chirped. Ferb shot him a look, rolling his eyes fondly. The two brothers walked away, Bea taking one last look back at the hopefully soon-to-be lovebirds before following.

**Author's Note:**

> All the alien names come from my handy dandy Al Bhed translator. (Al Bhed is a language / cipher from Final Fantasy X. I wanted to give Perry and co. differant alien race names, and rather than go way out on a limb, I just translated Platypus, Bunny, and Panda into Al Bhed.)
> 
> Things to keep in mind: I haven't seen the newest Star Trek movie yet, so this just goes through Reboot one and two. I did watch the original show as a kid, and all of Next Gen when it aired, but I pretty much only remember the basic stuff, hence why this story takes place in new-movie-verse.
> 
> This is an Academy fic, and basically doesn't include (except possible mentions) any of the actual Star Trek characters.
> 
> Be prepared for our two little idiots mooning over each other like the twelve-year-old girls they are.


End file.
